I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
