This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
