There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
