I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
