I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
