wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
