I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
