I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Shame - the story of my life.
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