This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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