It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
