Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
