I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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