I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
