Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
