haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
