So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
