Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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