her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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