what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
