Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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