Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize