Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
