I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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