so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
accomplished twins. life is a go
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
