He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
