i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
