We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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