smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
