pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
