JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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