PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
