So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
