jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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