Just mADE A PArabola og urine
where does the pee come out of this thing
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
