the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
love makes seman taste better
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
