The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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