tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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