at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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