that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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