so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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