would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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