And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
