I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
