3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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