Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
