genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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