I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize