I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
