I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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