the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
