It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
be right there i have to get my cape
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
