Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
COCAINE IS GR8
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
