my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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