Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
