Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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