i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
