his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
