I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
