i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
