Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
