i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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