Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
