Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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