Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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